That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
