Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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