everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i believe in u and ur pee
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
