those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
how does that bad decision feel?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
