I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I wish there were birth control emojis
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
