i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
