I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
