the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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