I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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