Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
