We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
