I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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