did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
