He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize