Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Randomize
