Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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