wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
