I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
