I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
