Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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