just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
where are my eyebrows?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
