I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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