Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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