my being single is dangerous.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
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Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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