So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
