there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
