I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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