Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
