I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
