honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
