True but thats because hes a fetus.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
