I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
