we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
