No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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