In the future we'll all be gay
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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