Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
