Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
