don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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