I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
