Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
