I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
