well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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