found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
