we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
