Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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