I wish I only lived at night.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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