I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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