All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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