Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
