So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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