Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
