A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
no more duck duck goose at the bar
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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