Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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