well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
im on a boat
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