I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
