Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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