Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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