finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
