I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
