Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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