Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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