the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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