wat bout pragnant strippers??
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
