Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
